The Hardest & Most Important Thing I Do!

One of my keynotes I’m giving this summer is called my “Top 20 Lessons in 20-Years.” Yes, this is my 20th year in business at Fitness Quest 10, and I’ve learned a TON of valuable lessons.

Heck, I’ve learned 20-lessons alone in the last 6-months. But I have kept this talk macro to discuss my TOP LESSONS that have spanned the previous 2-decades plus. And ALL of these lessons are now turned into principles, so they continue to serve me well.

Today, I want to share my FIRST lesson with you from my keynote. It might be the most important one of all, yet it’s probably the one that has been the toughest one to be consistently “good” at for the past 17-years.

Lesson #1: The HARDEST role of ALL is PARENTING and being a good HUSBAND.

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Parenting is the HARDEST thing I do!! When my kids were babies, I used to think it would be “easier” when they grew up and got older. That was my motivating force to get through those many sleepless nights and long-days. 

And now with a 17, 15, and 12-year old, I wouldn’t say it’s “easier”; it’s just different. 

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Where has all the TIME gone?!!

Now, they are all growing up. They are involved in multiple activities.

Luke (17) just made his college decision as he goes into his senior year of high school. That was a stressful few months alone. But in a good way. He continues to train and prepare for football now that it’s been pushed to start in December.

Brady (15) is finding out how much he loves working out and seeing his muscles grow. And he asks A LOT of questions on health, training, and nutrition. He’s a renaissance man with many interests (sports, business, reading, and he loves people).

McKenna is 12. And it’s not easy to be 12. She is really, really missing soccer and spending time with her girlfriends. She is working out a lot, but she’s not looking forward to “virtual schooling” again. She would so much rather be IN-school. And it’s not easy to teach a 12-year old about patience. Can I get an AMEN on that?

All 3 of them are special. All 3 of them are unique and different. And all 3 of them require my TIME. 

If you are a parent, you understand. 
If you are a future parent, you WILL understand.
If you will never be a parent… well, you won’t have these stresses!

Let me explain. The #1 thing I try to do is be a GREAT parent. But man-o-man is it HARD!

While you may know me as a coach or trainer, or from Fitness Quest 10, or one of my books, or a conference I spoke at, that’s only part of what I do. It’s a big part of what I do. But it’s NOT the most important thing I do.


Parenting requires patience. Communication. Love. Listening. Discipline. And lots of time.

Sometimes you want to pull your hair out.
Sometimes you don’t know the best way to communicate. 
Sometimes you want them to fail and make mistakes. So they continue to learn. But it hurts when you see them lose or hurting. But you know it’s an essential part of “growing up.” It’s good parenting to encourage them not to be afraid to make mistakes. You wrestle with wanting them to succeed and wanting them to have “learning opportunities.”

If you’re a parent, I bet you understand where I’m coming from, don’t you?

Regardless, I know how important it is to establish core-values in your kids. For us, faith/belief in God, honesty, hard-work, discipline, and compassion are family core values. They are main-stays. They are principles we STRIVE to live by.

Perfect? No!
Strive for? YES!!

How about you? What are the CORE VALUES you try to instill in your family? 

How about yourself?

It’s not easy to live by them daily, but we must all strive to do it in this crazy time. 

Hang in there, and let’s continue to strive to be the best men & women we can be…and if you are parent, hang in there as it DOES get BETTER!!! Two things today:

1. Speaking of crazy time and kids. This one is FOR the Kids!! [Must LISTEN]

I’ve had a calling lately to do a podcast message just for the kiddos. Kids have been through a lot in the last 6-months. They are going through a lot now and I want to INSPIRE them. 

Today, I have a message called “This One is for the Kids!” that will resonate with parents, coaches, teachers, mentors, leaders, and trainers. I know the kids NEED it. I know many of us need it.

Please LISTEN-IN and then be sure to SHARE it with the kiddos after you tune-in! 

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This one is for the Kids!| Ep. 106 

On today’s IMPACT Show, I share five ways to survive, thrive, and get through his crazy time. I’m going to challenge the kids to “do better,” “be better,” and never give up on their dreams. 

Kids need to “Get their mind right” right now, and I want to help them. They need as many positive forces on the planet as possible, and we need to teach, guide, and motivate them to keep dreaming and working towards what they want in life. 

Call this a “calling,” but I know this message will resonate with some peeps out there. And whether these “kids” are 10, 15, 20, or 50-years old, I want to tap into them and remind them of who the heck they are and what they are made of.

Enjoy today’s session, and PLEASE SHARE it with as many “kids” as possible. 

Share it with coaches who work with kids. 
Share it with teachers who are about to do “virtual” teaching or maybe even in-person instruction.
Share it with other parents who have kids who need “something positive from another voice.” 

#2. When it comes to PARENTING– It’s ALL about TIME!!!

One thing I learned about parenting from my father was that it’s about the quality TIME you spend with your kids that counts. 

Whether it be spending 10-minutes playing catch with them in the street.

Sharing a workout with them together or even doing the “” program together.

Maybe it’s a “Daddy/Daughter” date or “Father/Son” time together.
Or maybe it’s “Mother/Daughter” or “Mother/Son” time.
Or maybe it’s even a long-weekend, short-trip, or even vacation together. After all, it’s about the memories and experiences you create that leave a lasting impression and IMPACT on the kids. 

How about vacations? Hey, those are nice, and we all need them about now, don’t we? (See my P.S.) 🙂

Yes, while vacations are nice and needed now and then, the real gems and secret-sauce to good parenting seem to happen around ordinary living times…

Around bedtime when you’re putting the kids to sleep; 

Or sharing a meal together at breakfast or dinner;
Or going to church together; 
Or having a conversation in the car while taking them to practice; 

My friends, it’s been on my heart lately to share the good times and tough times of parenting. The last 6-months have not been easy for our kids or us.

The next few months may not be real rosy, either.

But as always, I remind you WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS, and we must rely on the people we LOVE the most in our life.

Thank you for what you do. Whether you are a parent or not, every one of us can make a difference in someone else’s life. I hope I served as that for you today.

Much love…and much IMPACT!


P.S. #1. Speaking of VACATION…I’m on “Mellow-Yellow” time NOW!

For the 1st time since March 18th, I’m taking a few days off to recharge & rejuvenate with the family. We are taking a 4-day STAYCATION down at the beach to get our toes in the sand, get in the water, relax, and just spend TIME together as a family. AHHHH!!!!

I hope you can do what you need to do soon also to recharge your batteries. I know I’ve needed this for a while, and this staycation has been my carrot for the last several weeks. 

What’s your carrot or long-weekend, staycation, or trip you can plan now for the next 90-days or so to get you refreshed, revived, and rejuvenated? #GetItBookedNow

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Having a blast with the family on Staycation!!!

P.S. #2. Top 20 Lessons in 20-Years Talk!

I’ll be doing this talk again virtually next Monday, August 17th for Perform Better. If you want to be part of that talk, you can sign-up now. 

Here are all the details.

About the Author

Todd Durkin, MA, is a world-renown trainer, coach, author and motivational keynote speaker who trains dozens of elite, high-profile NFL, MLB, and MMA athletes, including two Super Bowl MVP’s, one NFL League MVP, Olympic gold medalists, Heisman Trophy winners, and MMA champions. Todd is a 2-Time Trainer of the Year, the 2017 Jack LaLanne Award recipient, the 2018 Canfitpro International Presenter of the Year, a member of the Under Armour Training Team, and a Top-100 Most Influential People in Health & Fitness.

Todd was a featured trainer on the popular TV show, NBC STRONG, which is now airing on Netflix. His award-winning gym, Fitness Quest 10 in San Diego, CA, is a Top-10 Gym in America and his 3 best-selling books, Get Your Mind Right, The WOW BOOK, and The IMPACT Body Plan, have both changed thousands of people’s lives. If you would like to get motivated and inspired now, you can pick these books up at, or if you would like a signed copy, please purchase at
TD Mastermind Coaching Program for Trainers & Fit-Pros

If you are a trainer, coach, or fitness pro, you need to check out Todd’s Mastermind Coaching Program. It is designed to help you create excellence in your business & life. It consists of 2-live retreats per year, monthly coaching, access to Todd and his team of coaches, select and unique opportunities within Todd’s network, weekly motivation, and a whole lot more. This is all primarily virtual so you can be located anywhere around the globe and you can join at any time.

Here are all the details:
IMPACT Coaching for High-Performers & Growth-Minded individuals (Primarily NON-fit-pros)

If you are NOT a fitness pro, but a person who seeks high-performance and growth in business and life. There is a unique opportunity to work directly with Todd in his brand new IMPACT Coaching program. It’s only 60-Days long, but it’s an intense immersion in personal coaching (body, mind, AND spirit) and business coaching. There will only be 12-people in this program—one might as well be YOU.

The IMPACT Coaching Program is currently closed for registration but you can stay updated at
New Podcast

Lastly, Todd’s new podcast (“The Todd Durkin IMPACT Show”) just dropped, and we would love for you to listen. It’s designed to motivate and inspire you to live a life full of passion, purpose, and IMPACT, and it’s guaranteed to Get Your Mind Right. Check it out and subscribe today at We also have a part of the podcast where we take your Q&A, so please send us your questions through the weblink.

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